April 22, 2012

April 22, 2012

Considering Tyler was released from the mental institution this past monday, it was a pretty good week. Tuesday he went to school, and I got some texts from him - of course right in the middle of my naptime - saying he was feeling paranoid. Everyone was looking at him and talking about him. He was feeling "unsafe and scared". I reassured him that this was not true - people weren't talking about him and he has no need to feel paranoid. I told him to try his best and see if he could make it through the day. Just when I fell asleep again, he called me. He was in the office and said he needed to go home because he was hearing whispering and he couldn't ignore it. I gave permission for him to go home.

Wednesday he stayed home from school. We discussed talking to the principal and seeing what his options were as far as getting his school work and having him do it at home for the rest of the year. We haven't acted on that yet.

Tyler went to school and completed the whole day without any problems on Thursday. I had gotten a letter in the mail stating one of his teachers had requested a parent-teacher conference with me. Brian, Tyler and I went to the open house. We spoke with all his teachers, and every one had good things to say about Tyler. He is getting B's and C's in school, and he even has an A in math! I am so proud! It's been a while since he got an A. His teachers said that he has been communicating with them when he feels overwhelmed or stress out. They said sometimes he needs a break just to get his focus back, and they are all receptive to that and work well with him so he can succeed. I was really happy to hear that he is communicating when he needs a bit of help!

So back to Tuesday - Ty was talking to me about Prom and taking Kayla. He was making plans and was pretty excited about it. That night he came upstairs around 10:30. Brian knew there was something wrong. He asked Tyler twice what was wrong and if there was something bothering him. He just said no. Then Brian got adamant and told him to sit his butt in the chair and tell him what was going on. I'm glad he is perceptive like that because I had just chalked it up to Ty being moody. It was like pulling teeth to get information out of him, but we found out that Kayla's mom decided that Tyler wasn't allowed to take Kayla to prom. There was no reason - just no. Tyler said he texted her and when we asked him what he said, he replied that he asked her why not. We made him read the text to us, and O.M.G. It was SO rude and disrespectful! He told her to start acting her age. He told her to butt out and mind her own business. Oh my.

We told Tyler that he just made things much, much worse. He says that he just told her the way he was feeling, and there's nothing wrong with the way he is feeling. We told him that's true, but you don't always need to voice your opinion. Sometimes things are best left unsaid. We explained to him that if he wants to date Kayla, then talking to her mom that way is the absolute wrong way to go about it! He just didn't get it. Then my phone rang. I figured it was Kayla's mom, and I was right. She was pretty lit up. Oh man was I glad that Brian sat Tyler down and made him tell us exactly what was going on. That's the kind of surprise phone call I do not want to get. To make a long story short, we talked a very long time. She knows about Ty's schizophrenia, but doesn't know much about the disease. She says Tyler makes no effort to get to know them. All he wants to do is spend time with Kayla. That's pretty typical of a teenager, I think. We talked for a very long time, and I told her a bit about Tyler - yes, getting information out of him very difficult for anyone. I told her that if Kayla doesn't want to be with Tyler, she need to tell him point blank, and then they need to not talk. Ty needs a clean break. He can't handle this maybe I'll be with you, kissy-kissy, love you still stuff. That's called sending mixed messages. I told her that's not acceptable. Either Kayla needs to be with Ty, or don't be with Ty. Kayla just wants to be friends with everyone and not end anything badly. That's a typical teenage girl thing - but it is not reality. Breaking up is hard to do, and it's usually very ugly. In the end, I think Kayla's mom got it. She felt a lot better, and so did I. That didn't last long because by the time that was over, it was 2 am, and I had to get up in 3 1/2 hours. Ugh.

We helped Tyler come up with a plan of graduating high school, getting a job & making some money. Then date Kayla. Take her to the movies and out to dinner, and date her. He thinks that's a good plan.

Tyler is doing better, although he still says he is depressed. Time is the only thing that can heal a broken heart, and he copes better with every day that passes. Another factor in his depression is that he has never had a girl break up with him. He is the one that always ends it. This situation is much different because he still wants to be with Kayla, and doesn't know why she doesn't want to be with him if she still loves him. I told him that sometimes you never find out why, and you have to be okay with that.