The signs have been there for a few years, but I haven't wanted to believe it. They have gradually gotten worse.
My son Tyler is the firstborn of 3. He loves to have undivided 'mommy time'. When he is given one-on-one time with me, he flourishes. If I become too busy and can't give him that alone time with me, he starts deteriorating. This has been noticeable since birth.
At first, I thought he was trying to get my attention. I thought Tyler was attention starved, and this was his way of telling me he needed more; but how much is enough? It's not like I could quit my business and side job, and ignore my other child. I thought how Ty was acting was an elaborate way to manipulate me.
Since he was 10-years-old, Tyler has told me he has ADHD, and needs drugs. I dismissed his claims. This condition is over-diagnosed,[quote style="boxed" float="right"]I thought he was trying to get my attention.[/quote] and kids are being medicated when all they really need is go play sports or something. If a child really has ADHD, it is life disrupting. Tyler's behavior was not disrupting, and he excelled in school.
When Ty told me he was hearing voices, I dismissed his claims. I think we all have heard our name called when there was no one there to speak it. We have all seen things move out of the corner of our eyes that weren't really there.
I had caught Tyler in enough lies, that I was more inclined to believe he was lying about these things. It's kind of like the boy who cried wolf - the boy being my son. Crazy doesn't run in my family. His biological dad, on the other hand, is another story for another day. Let's just say that I can't rule out that something didn't get passed on to my son. I was so young and naive then.
Tyler is now almost 18-years-old. The past two years have been hard to say the least. He has progressively declined; so much so, that I have no choice but to believe him.
I still don't want to accept that there is something seriously wrong with my perfect little boy. He has always been the shining sun that brightens my day. He is my first baby. I have hopes and dreams for him that are realistic and so within his reach. He is so incredibly smart and handsome to boot. He's always been a ladies' man.
Our lives are changing. There is something wrong, and we are being forced, kicking and screaming, to accept it.
This is our story.
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