March 8, 2012 - indifference

March 8, 2012  Thursday

One thing that I've noticed with Tyler is that he just doesn't care. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. It's all about what he wants, and what is good for him. There is no regard concerning how his actions will affect others. For example - there is a 4-5 foot wall of snow outside the garage doors and next to the driveway. Tyler was outside and he peed his name in the wall about 4 feet up. It was too tall for our dog Oliver to reach, so we asked him if he had done it. He said yeah and started laughing.

Brian and I immediately got mad. You can't be doing things like that! This is right in plain sight of anyone who comes to the house - TY in big yellow letters in the wall of snow, like a big, fat sign. He just didn't understand why we would be mad about him peeing in the snow. It's not a big deal. We had to explain that everyone who comes to the house can see it, and that is trashy. We don't care if he pees in the snow, just not in plain sight where anyone can see it! We said that Brian's parents would be SO mad if they saw that! What if members of the village council came over for a meeting? What if some of their employees had to run to our house real quick?

He said he didn't care what anyone thought. He didn't see how it can affect anyone. When we told him that no matter if he can see that or not, it does. His reply was that he just doesn't care. He doesn't care how anyone feels, or what anyone thinks. He's gonna do what he's gonna do, and everyone can just kiss his ass.

I know what you're thinking - this is normal teenage behavior, right? No - this was much more than that. It is like he goes through these phases where he does not have a conscience. He literally DOES NOT CARE about anything or anyone. This is NOT my normal Ty! My son has a huge heart, and he is always trying to help people and solve problems. My son is a rational thinker. I've always been able to reason with him. When he hits one of these moods, there is no reasoning. That part of his brain is just gone, and it's like talking to a brick wall. It's really weird.

He told Dr. Palamara that he has no regard for anyone. Along with his violent urges, this really freaks me out. It's like I'm watching my son slowly morph into a sociopath. I'm doing everything I can to stop it, but I'm really scared it won't be enough.